


in the meantime, I'll be waiting

by bronweathanharthad



Category: Dunkirk (2017)
Genre: F/M, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bronweathanharthad/pseuds/bronweathanharthad
Summary: various letters exchanged between Daniel and Alma between his arrival in France and the evacuation of Dunkirk
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: song prompt





	in the meantime, I'll be waiting

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "20 Years" by the Civil Wars

_Dearest Daniel,_

_Last night I dreamed of losing you. I will spare you the details, but among other things, I had to identify your body. I woke up crying and wishing that you were around to dry my tears and assure me that everything was okay._

_I know you have said that training has been your own responsibility so far, and I know that you would inform me if anything changed. But can you please tell me that again? You know me and my awful tendency to worry about things that I know do not need worrying about._

_With love,_

_Alma_

Dearest Alma,

I assure you that nothing has changed here. My only duty is training a small regiment for combat that we have yet to see. I think some of the boys are getting restless, but the longer we can go without entering combat, the happier I will be.

I wish I could do more to calm your fears. Maybe with time you will have those dreams less often, and I hope that will be the case. You have enough cares as is. You don’t need those dreams, too.

With love,

Daniel

_Dearest Daniel,_

_This year I have reservations about whether to audition for solos for the_ Messiah _. While I don’t doubt my capacity to sing, I find that I lack the heart that I usually have. The audience deserves soloists that will sing with passion, and I don’t know if I have it in me this year. Music has not provided the respite that I hoped for, but maybe with time the joy will return._

_Does your regiment have any holiday plans? I’m sure they all miss home, but at least they have each other. I would hate to think of them going through the holidays entirely on their own._

_We will do our best to keep our Christmas traditions. Of course it won’t be nearly the same, but I’d rather try for our old routine than do something entirely different._

_You are in my thoughts as always, but now more than ever. I hope your Christmas will be okay despite the circumstances._

_With love,_

_Alma_

Dearest Alma,

With Christmas around the corner, spirits are understandably low here. Some of my men have talked about singing carols on Christmas Eve, and if that happens I will be sure to sing with them. I’m sure they’re homesick, and it’s hard to establish a routine when one is in a different country and we all have different traditions.

I am sorry that music hasn’t brought you the happiness that it usually does. If you wish to sing in the choir without any solos, I will understand, and of course you will still give your voice even without a solo, but if you feel hesitant because I won’t be there to hear it, I encourage you to audition anyway. I have heard your lovely voice many times, and in time I will hear it again. I trust your heart and judgment, and I will support whatever you decide to do.

Tell Jonathan that I love him and that I want him to have a happy Christmas despite my absence.

With love,

Daniel

_Dearest Daniel,_

_I decided to audition, but the solos went to other singers. Usually I would be disappointed, but this year I was okay with it. The concert had a greater turnout than usual this year. I hope it brought some comfort to the families that are missing loved ones. I’ll admit it felt quite lonesome mingling with the attendees afterwards and knowing that you wouldn’t be there with your flowers and complimentary remarks. I didn’t anticipate missing that as much as I did._

_The idea of singing carols is a nice sentiment, even if it doesn’t happen in the end. I can’t imagine the loneliness of being so far from one’s family at this time of year, but I hope you and your men will find comfort and some reminder of home in each other._

_Jonathan misses you very much. He has asked more than once if you will be home for Christmas, and it breaks my heart to tell him no. Don’t worry; I tell him at least once a day that you love him._

_I miss you terribly, but I find some reprieve in these letters. I hope they bring you similar comfort._

_With love,_

_Alma_

Dearest Alma,

I dreamed of your singing last night. The words escape me now, and I can only remember fragments of the melody. I don’t even know if it was a real song. But your voice immobilized me and brought tears to my eyes, and the feeling of awe lingered after I awoke.

These days I do not dream of home as often as I used to, and I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. While I have learned how better to cope with homesickness, I don’t wish to forget. I cannot allow myself to forget your singing and your smile and the way that you blush when you receive praise.

I miss sharing a bed with you. I miss waking up to your face and cuddling with you on cold nights. I miss your laughter, and above all else I miss your company. My dreams are a pitiful substitute for your presence.

With love,

Daniel

_Dearest Daniel,_

_I have begun to read a child-friendly adaptation of the Odyssey to Jonathan. I don’t think he likes it much, and I am not as skilled a narrator as you are, but he has let me read it. Perhaps in time he will come to enjoy it._

_I was also surprised to discover that I don’t remember the story as well as I initially thought. Telemachus’ journey into manhood occupies more of the story than I remember, although that is a welcome surprise. I suppose there is something poetic in a son growing in his father’s absence, but of course I would never expect our four-year-old to grow as much as Telemachus has to._

_For what it’s worth, if, God forbid, you find yourself away from home for the same span of time as Odysseus, I promise to be faithful._

_And I hope that I will continue to remember the way that your eyes light up when you smile, the feeling of your hand in mine, the gentleness of your kisses and the security of your embrace. Your spot on the bed is terribly empty, and I wish you were here to fill it._

_With love,_

_Alma_

Dearest Alma,

I admire your effort to expand our son’s literary horizons, even if this attempt ends up unsuccessful. Penelope’s contest for her suitors has always been my favorite part of the story; perhaps he will enjoy it as well.

Your updates are always welcome, and I found myself especially grateful for your latest letter. I have been somewhat depressed as of late and thinking about my father more than usual. The anniversary of his death, as you know, is near, and I suppose that being away from home has made things more difficult. Once the anniversary has come and gone I am sure I will be okay, and my duties for my regiment offer some distraction, so please don’t worry about me.

I know you already do this, but please tell Jonathan that I love and miss him. And tell him not to grow up too quickly.

With love,

Daniel

_Dearest Daniel,_

_If I have timed this well, you should receive this by your birthday. I’m afraid I didn’t know what to get you, but I didn’t want you to think I forgot. After all, it isn’t every day that you turn 30. If only we could celebrate it as a family._

_We are a few days away from performing our first opera of the year. It will be_ The Magic Flute _with an English libretto - a crime if you ask me, but the performing arts scene is pushing for English and French when possible. In October we will perform_ Dido and Aeneas _, and I think I will bring Jonathan to see it._

_Jonathan wanted you to know that he wishes you a happy birthday as well and that he misses you every day._

_I love you with all my heart, and I wish more than ever that I could tell you that face-to-face._

_With love,_

_Alma_

Dearest Alma,

Spring has finally arrived here in France. So far it has been much drier than English springs, but for reasons unclear to me I miss the many April showers.

It’s hard to believe that I have been gone for six months. I hope you have managed to maintain some semblance of normalcy in the midst of all this, and I hope that the war won’t prove a detriment to the opera. Goodness knows we need music during these times.

In case you needed to hear this, I still love you more than anything. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and for me that has certainly proven true.

With love,

Daniel

UNDER EVACUATION STOP WILL WRITE WHEN I CAN THOUGH IT MAY BE A WHILE

_My dearest Daniel,_

_I know it is futile to write this letter seeing as I do not yet know when you will be able to receive it, but here we are._

_Please be strong. Be strong for your men, for your mother and sister, for our son, for me, but most of all for yourself. If things go awry, do not blame yourself. Not everything can go right in trying times, and the circumstance isn’t your fault._

_Please write to me when you can. I know that you will be especially busy, and I do not expect you to write to me right away. But please write when you get the chance, if only to tell me that you are alive._

_I will not tell Jonathan about the situation. He already misses you terribly as it is, and I would hate to cause him additional worry. I’m sure you understand._

_Just take care of yourself. I know you will do everything you can to help as many people as you can, and I hope that when all of this is over you will remember what you did rather than dwell on what you could not do._

_I will be here for you. I always will._

_With love, as always,_

_Alma_


End file.
